4/2/2010 - Hi! |
Been super busy, sorry I haven't had time to update. But with that note, I still don't have a time to update. So instead, here's a joke!
A man and his wife are awakened at three o'clock in the morning by a loud pounding on the door. The man
gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.
"Not a chance," says the husband, "it is three o'clock in the morning!"
He slams the door and returns to bed.
"Who was that?" asked his wife.
"Just some drunk guy asking for a push," he answers.
"Did you help him?" she asks.
"No, I did not, it is three in the morning and it is pouring outside!"
"Well, you have a short memory," says his wife.
"Can't you remember about three months ago when we broke down and those two guys helped us?" "I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself!"
The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pouring rain.
He calls out into the dark, "Hello, are you still there?"
"Yes," comes back the answer.
"Do you still need a push?" calls out the husband.
"Yes, please!" comes the reply from the dark.
"Where are you?" asks the husband.
"Over here on the swing!" replies the drunk.
Tags: update, drunk, jokejakeny@att.net Permanent Link to Hi! | 12/9/2005 - A Joke! | A Joke from the sister in law in Texas. It's short, and quite funny.
Three guys -- a Canadian farmer, Osama bin Laden, and an American engineer - are together one day. They come across a lantern and a genie pops out of it.
"I will give each of you one wish, which is three wishes total" says the genie.
The Canadian says, "I am a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in Canada."
Pooooof! In the blink of the genie's eye, the land in Canada was forever made fertile for farming.
Osama bin Ladin was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around Afghanistan, Iraq and Iran so that no infidels, Jews or Americans can come into our precious state."
Pooooof! Again, in the blink of the genie's eye, there was a huge wall around those countries.
The American engineer asks, "I am very curious. Please tell me more about this wall".
The genie explains, "Well, it's about 5000 feet high, 500 feet thick and completely surrounds the countries. Nothing can get in or out. It's virtually impenetrable."
"Then", says the American engineer "Fill it with water!"
Pooooof!
jakeny@att.net Permanent Link to A Joke! | 6/1/2005 - June is here | It's June 1st. The weather is awesome. And I am starting to embark on the last leg of my Stonybrook Survey project. I should be able to get through this area of it, in a few days.
I've also just purchased my flight for Tahoe over the 4th of July weekend. It would have cost me a few hundred less, if I were to do it a month ago. It happens.
I go get back to work now. Damien's birthday is on Friday, I think we'll be doing something on Saturday night for him.
Amusing Blonde Joke
Homer, a handsome guy, walked into a sports bar around 9:58 PM.
He sat down next to this blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV.
The 10:00 news was on. The news crew was covering a story of a man on a ledge of a large building preparing to jump.
The blonde looked at Homer and said, "Do you think he'll jump?" Homer says,"You know, I bet he'll jump." The blonde replied, "Well, I bet he won't."
Homer placed $20 on the bar and said, "You're on!" Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the guy did a swan dive off of the building, falling to his death.
The blonde was very upset and handed her $20 to Homer,
saying, "Fair's fair. Here's your money."
Homer replied, "I can't take your money, I saw this earlier on the 5 o'clock news and knew he would jump." The blonde replies, "I did too; but I didn't think he'd do it again."
Homer took the money.......
jakeny@att.net Permanent Link to June is here |
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